Signed, dealed, delivered... I'm yours!

It's Monday already... At least the weekend was wonderful, aside from not feeling well last night that is.

Friday, after work, mom, Jax & I went to Fort Wayne, I got a mani/pedi, they did some shopping, then we went to Ihop for supper, and to Target for some more shopping! I needed new unders for my date with Dusten! Found the perfect set, even had a nightie that matched!

Headed out for Grissom Joint Air Reserve Base about 2pm on Saturday... I couldn't wait to get there! It was a really pretty drive, I snapped a couple of pics, just of signs... I was concentrated on driving!

Got there around 330, he came and got me, then we went to the room.... Where we stayed for the remainder of my visit! He ordered pizza (perfect meal for me!) And we talked, napped, watched movies, and just lounged until I had to leave Sunday... He noticed my nails, my necklace which had heels on it, my pretty bra... He noticed all the little things that I put into a date. He joked and said if we ever move in together, that i'd need a room just for my shoes and purses! He even noticed my new ring I got at Target, I found it, fell in love, and bought it, the only size they had was for my left ring finger, so he called it my theft detterant system and kept talkin bout my engagment ring, and asked if my fiance was gonna be upset that I was with him... he really is a dork and its one of the many reasons I can see myself totally falling for him! He even stopped kissing me so he could make me watch a David's Bridal commercial because they are having their $99 sale right now!  

At one point he asked why I started talking to him, I simply said because you were cute and sweet. Honest answer? Because he slightly stopped talking to me and I missed it. And on Valentine's Day when I went to message him and say Happy Valentine's Day, he had posted that he was in a relationship, along with a pic of him and a girl... My thoughts? "Dammit! She's a lucky ass girl." Then when he was Posting not happy status' I offered my ear. I didn't want to push myself, but i'm glad I did, because otherwise I may not have had this opportunity with a realky great guy who seems to be a true gentleman!

I really didn't want to leave, I wanted to stay in his arms one more night, but I knew I couldn't, so I had to end what felt to me like a honeymoon and have him take me to my car... Started feeling queazy, litteraly got sick in between our cars... Felt like a total jackass... But on my way home he kept texting me askin if I was ok. He tried to make me turn around so he could take care of me, and once I got home, he offeref to drive back so he could hold me and make me feel better... he even text to make sure I was ok today, because he was worried about me!

Soldier Boy....

Ok, so I went and got my hair cut.. I love it!!! I will be goin back there from now on!

"The Therapist" is already becoming much more important than I had anticipated.... He came home from base on Sunday, just to come see me... He is so sweet, funny, cute, and a frikkin gentleman!

Like I said, it turns out he is way more wonderful than I thought. I took a scheduled a vacation day for today, and drove to the air base last night after I put Jax to bed... It was a long drive, but I had my oldies and Grease II music to keep me company! Not to mention that he called me twice on my way there, so i'm thinkin he kinda likes me... only slightly got lost in Huntington but I luckily had my phones GPS to point me in the correct direction!

Had an amazing night with him! Then this 'morning' he took me to Ugaldes for food... And holy crap they have good food! Then he took me back to my car so I could head home.... I literally cried on the way home... Yeah second time i've seen him and I cry when I leave him. But I will be making that trip again on Saturday!

This morning before we went to get food, he got in the shower, I so badly wanted to get in there with him. But I knew if I had, that would mean doin my hair and everything... I didn't want to put him thru all of that! Ao I.stead freshened myself up, and put on his uniform jacket & hat and snapped a pic that way whenever he has it on, he could imagine me in it, and think of me...  ok he's textin, and I don't wanna keep him waiting....

I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL SATURDAY!!!!

Nevermind I'l find someone like you...

Started talkin to this guy we'll call him "the therapist"until I get to know him better and see where this goes. Started talkin thru Facebook, he seems to be a genuine sweetheart so far. He's a couple years older than me, has 2 kids 5 & 2, in the Air force, lives with him mom, has had his heartbroken a few times, listens to me gripe and groan like he's my therapist and seems genuinly interested in getting to know ME, and even asks questions about Jackson. He makes me laugh and feel comfortable with being me, that doesn't happen very often, but haven't seen him in person in probably 15 years (he used to ride the same bus I did back in school). Set up a date for March 10th, he's on base in Peru, Indiana, hour and a half drive, but I figure its worth a shot right?!?! I mean he seems like a great guy, and he can't really be worse than i've dated in the past.... So i'm spending the next almost 2 weeks tanning and trying to tone my mid section...

Ps I have an appointment to get my hair cut at Vera Jolie on Leap day! I can't wait!!!!

I hope you dance

Jackson and I attended the mother/son dance last night at Riverside Center. It was so much fun! We danced to footloose, the beach boys, dynamite, the chicken dance, capser slide, the hokey pokey, and even got to slow dance to I hope you dance and I swear! That part was really special to me because I got to teach my son how to slow dance! I remember my sister Tanya getting on her knees and teaching me when I was younger! Jackson and I got to share a very special evening that I will never forget and hopefully neither will he. As we were leaving he asked if we could do it again, I said next year they will have another one, he said but thats an entire year away!!! Poor kid is gonna be just like his mother and be in moods where he HAS to dance! He is a great dancer, I don't know where he learns all of those moves, but he sure was movin his little butt all night! To be totally honest, I can't wait for the next one either!!

Turn around....

Yep, slowly things are starting to turn around again!! Things with the car arr coming along slowly, but the fuel gauge seems to be working by itself, and Ted and Jereme got the heat to work... (still doesn't work in the mornings when I really need it, but its workin part time at least!) Went and put a mattress on layaway, just hoping its a good one. My room is a disaster, but I just don't have any motivation right now. Jax doesn't seem to want to spend anytime with me anymore... Can't really blame him, mamas a drag these days.

It happens

So I got this car... I love it, BUT, its being a pain in my ass and my wallet... So far we've changed the fuel pump, fuel filter, fuel neck, rear brakes, and thermostat... Now there ia an air bubble in the heating system somewhere and I can't get any heat. This morning when I got to work, the check engine light (which is always on) started flashing at me, and the car started to shake, and when I went to lunch, it was making a ticking noise and shaking worse... I'm scared that yet again i've fallen in love with something I won't be able to keep....  Oh and the list of things we've still got to fix is: alternator is slipping, the key fits in the hole weird, the rear strut needs fixed, and brake wear warnibg light is still on... I just can't seem to win in anything I do anymore... So much for a better 2012...

Alone again... Naturally (but not totally)

You know what drives me INSANE???
All of these people that try to 'console' me by saying "you've got your child" no shit I've got my child.... He is an amazingly smart, cute as can be, little guy that I love so much.... But there is a part of me that he can't get to. He makes me smile, makes me laugh and makes me cry...he is everything I could have ever even hoped for and more. But there is this longing inside of me.... a need for adult affection, attention, fun, & love.... Not just from my child. Yes I have my son, and I thank God I do, and I wouldn't trade him for all the riches in the world, but one day he will be grown and ready to leave... I want to find someone to share my life with, someone who can know the joy my child brings me, and be involved in the day to day... Someone to lean on when I feel like i'm going to break, someone to hold at nights....