It's a great day to be alive

That moment when your discussing what kind of pets your gonna have & he says he doesn't want a bird & you've decided you kinda do & you realize your crying, not because he doesn't wany a bird but because for once, after all the lies and bullshit, you may actually have a chance at happily ever after..

I love him so damm much, I simply can't wait to start our life together as a family, 3 boys... Cats, dogs, and a guinea pig (only because at the moment that is what Jax wants!), and MAYBE a bird! lol going to have to wait and see with that one! Yes I fell in love with them when we took Jackson and Rylan to Petco the other weekend, but I have wanted a family for Jackson since before he was even born...  I love Dusty, and I know that Jax does to, and that makes me happier than I have ever been!!

my head is racing into the future faster than I can process the present it seems. I've got lists and dates and things I may never even need, but i've thought it thru and have it somewhat categorized in my head! Never know when life is gonna throw a real life prince charming your way :-)

Alone again... Naturally (but not totally)

You know what drives me INSANE???
All of these people that try to 'console' me by saying "you've got your child" no shit I've got my child.... He is an amazingly smart, cute as can be, little guy that I love so much.... But there is a part of me that he can't get to. He makes me smile, makes me laugh and makes me cry...he is everything I could have ever even hoped for and more. But there is this longing inside of me.... a need for adult affection, attention, fun, & love.... Not just from my child. Yes I have my son, and I thank God I do, and I wouldn't trade him for all the riches in the world, but one day he will be grown and ready to leave... I want to find someone to share my life with, someone who can know the joy my child brings me, and be involved in the day to day... Someone to lean on when I feel like i'm going to break, someone to hold at nights....