Venting

If you really want to know what is bothering her, put your phone down, log off the damm computer and LOOK AT HER!!!! Talk with her, only her not her and 3+ other people... Look into her eyes, hold her hand and get to know HER! Maybe that is what is wrong with her. Maybe all she wants is to have an actual conversation with you for once, to discuss something other than work, kids, or cars... Maybe she wants to know who you really are deep down inside (the way others seem to know you so well), maybe she wishes it were still her who you stayed up late at night talking to, maybe she wishes you would show that intrest in her. Why is it so easy for you to talk with everyone else yet you can hardly hold a conversation with the person you love... Hell maybe she just wishes you would hold her. Idk just a guess.

~Born to fly~

Things Dusty and I need to have a HOME for our family & not just a house to escape our parents...

Rent + deposit
Electric + deposit
Water + deposit
Groceries

Furniture & accesories by room:

Bathroom:
First aid supplies
Bath towels
Hand towels
Wash cloths
Shower curtain
Rugs
Shampoo
Soaps
Trash can
Toilet brush

Kitchen:
•Kitchen table
Kit,hen towels
Pots & pans
Glasses
Utensils
Hot pads
Toaster
Tuperware
•Extra plates
Extra silverware (12 person set)
Trash can
Baking dishes
Cookie sheets
Pizza pan
Pizza cutter
Ice cube trays
Cutting board
Steak knives
Spatulas
Soup ladels
Slotted spoons
Wooden spoons
Mixer
Deep fryer
Child-proof plates
Sammich maker
•Microwave
Crock pot
Can opener
Strainer
Mixing bowls
Measuring cups
Measuring spoons
Food processor
Blender
Recepie box

Laundry Room:
Baskets
Detergent
Dryer sheets
Washer
Dryer
House cleaning supplies

Boys' Room(s):
Dresser(s)
Bed(?)
Curtains
Tv

Living Room:
•Couch
•Recliner
•Love seat(?)
T.V.
Lamps
•'the boys' picture frame(s)

It's a great day to be alive

That moment when your discussing what kind of pets your gonna have & he says he doesn't want a bird & you've decided you kinda do & you realize your crying, not because he doesn't wany a bird but because for once, after all the lies and bullshit, you may actually have a chance at happily ever after..

I love him so damm much, I simply can't wait to start our life together as a family, 3 boys... Cats, dogs, and a guinea pig (only because at the moment that is what Jax wants!), and MAYBE a bird! lol going to have to wait and see with that one! Yes I fell in love with them when we took Jackson and Rylan to Petco the other weekend, but I have wanted a family for Jackson since before he was even born...  I love Dusty, and I know that Jax does to, and that makes me happier than I have ever been!!

my head is racing into the future faster than I can process the present it seems. I've got lists and dates and things I may never even need, but i've thought it thru and have it somewhat categorized in my head! Never know when life is gonna throw a real life prince charming your way :-)

Signed, dealed, delivered... I'm yours!

It's Monday already... At least the weekend was wonderful, aside from not feeling well last night that is.

Friday, after work, mom, Jax & I went to Fort Wayne, I got a mani/pedi, they did some shopping, then we went to Ihop for supper, and to Target for some more shopping! I needed new unders for my date with Dusten! Found the perfect set, even had a nightie that matched!

Headed out for Grissom Joint Air Reserve Base about 2pm on Saturday... I couldn't wait to get there! It was a really pretty drive, I snapped a couple of pics, just of signs... I was concentrated on driving!

Got there around 330, he came and got me, then we went to the room.... Where we stayed for the remainder of my visit! He ordered pizza (perfect meal for me!) And we talked, napped, watched movies, and just lounged until I had to leave Sunday... He noticed my nails, my necklace which had heels on it, my pretty bra... He noticed all the little things that I put into a date. He joked and said if we ever move in together, that i'd need a room just for my shoes and purses! He even noticed my new ring I got at Target, I found it, fell in love, and bought it, the only size they had was for my left ring finger, so he called it my theft detterant system and kept talkin bout my engagment ring, and asked if my fiance was gonna be upset that I was with him... he really is a dork and its one of the many reasons I can see myself totally falling for him! He even stopped kissing me so he could make me watch a David's Bridal commercial because they are having their $99 sale right now!  

At one point he asked why I started talking to him, I simply said because you were cute and sweet. Honest answer? Because he slightly stopped talking to me and I missed it. And on Valentine's Day when I went to message him and say Happy Valentine's Day, he had posted that he was in a relationship, along with a pic of him and a girl... My thoughts? "Dammit! She's a lucky ass girl." Then when he was Posting not happy status' I offered my ear. I didn't want to push myself, but i'm glad I did, because otherwise I may not have had this opportunity with a realky great guy who seems to be a true gentleman!

I really didn't want to leave, I wanted to stay in his arms one more night, but I knew I couldn't, so I had to end what felt to me like a honeymoon and have him take me to my car... Started feeling queazy, litteraly got sick in between our cars... Felt like a total jackass... But on my way home he kept texting me askin if I was ok. He tried to make me turn around so he could take care of me, and once I got home, he offeref to drive back so he could hold me and make me feel better... he even text to make sure I was ok today, because he was worried about me!

Soldier Boy....

Ok, so I went and got my hair cut.. I love it!!! I will be goin back there from now on!

"The Therapist" is already becoming much more important than I had anticipated.... He came home from base on Sunday, just to come see me... He is so sweet, funny, cute, and a frikkin gentleman!

Like I said, it turns out he is way more wonderful than I thought. I took a scheduled a vacation day for today, and drove to the air base last night after I put Jax to bed... It was a long drive, but I had my oldies and Grease II music to keep me company! Not to mention that he called me twice on my way there, so i'm thinkin he kinda likes me... only slightly got lost in Huntington but I luckily had my phones GPS to point me in the correct direction!

Had an amazing night with him! Then this 'morning' he took me to Ugaldes for food... And holy crap they have good food! Then he took me back to my car so I could head home.... I literally cried on the way home... Yeah second time i've seen him and I cry when I leave him. But I will be making that trip again on Saturday!

This morning before we went to get food, he got in the shower, I so badly wanted to get in there with him. But I knew if I had, that would mean doin my hair and everything... I didn't want to put him thru all of that! Ao I.stead freshened myself up, and put on his uniform jacket & hat and snapped a pic that way whenever he has it on, he could imagine me in it, and think of me...  ok he's textin, and I don't wanna keep him waiting....

I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL SATURDAY!!!!

Nevermind I'l find someone like you...

Started talkin to this guy we'll call him "the therapist"until I get to know him better and see where this goes. Started talkin thru Facebook, he seems to be a genuine sweetheart so far. He's a couple years older than me, has 2 kids 5 & 2, in the Air force, lives with him mom, has had his heartbroken a few times, listens to me gripe and groan like he's my therapist and seems genuinly interested in getting to know ME, and even asks questions about Jackson. He makes me laugh and feel comfortable with being me, that doesn't happen very often, but haven't seen him in person in probably 15 years (he used to ride the same bus I did back in school). Set up a date for March 10th, he's on base in Peru, Indiana, hour and a half drive, but I figure its worth a shot right?!?! I mean he seems like a great guy, and he can't really be worse than i've dated in the past.... So i'm spending the next almost 2 weeks tanning and trying to tone my mid section...

Ps I have an appointment to get my hair cut at Vera Jolie on Leap day! I can't wait!!!!

I hope you dance

Jackson and I attended the mother/son dance last night at Riverside Center. It was so much fun! We danced to footloose, the beach boys, dynamite, the chicken dance, capser slide, the hokey pokey, and even got to slow dance to I hope you dance and I swear! That part was really special to me because I got to teach my son how to slow dance! I remember my sister Tanya getting on her knees and teaching me when I was younger! Jackson and I got to share a very special evening that I will never forget and hopefully neither will he. As we were leaving he asked if we could do it again, I said next year they will have another one, he said but thats an entire year away!!! Poor kid is gonna be just like his mother and be in moods where he HAS to dance! He is a great dancer, I don't know where he learns all of those moves, but he sure was movin his little butt all night! To be totally honest, I can't wait for the next one either!!